I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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