yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
