D3 body, D1 cock
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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