Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
