This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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