So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
