i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
