Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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