the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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