what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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