please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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