Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
