So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
