Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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