the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize