broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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