margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My cat gives me a boner
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
