We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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