He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
