and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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