I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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