I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
