What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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