I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
