is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
