i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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