alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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