I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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