wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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