i need an iv and a liver transplant
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
