you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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