So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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