did you get engaged???
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
