don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You left your phone here
Wait...
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