Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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