The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
