She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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