I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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