Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
