I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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