I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.