Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink