I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
