one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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