Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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