I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
