HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
