it wasn't lemon gatorade
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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