it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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