Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
