Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
