the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
