I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Quick, to the slutcave!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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