I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You are a genius and a whore.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
