I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
