i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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