party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize