You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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