i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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