You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
