I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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