Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
