therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize
