You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
